The General

The General was one of my very first dates after my divorce and one I reluctantly agreed to - it was a blind date.

A male friend of mine said he knew the perfect guy for me if I was willing to date someone a little older. He told me that he would be a perfect gentleman and entertaining - that he was. What he neglected to tell me were more details about him. He said he had no idea how old he was, perhaps 58 ( I was just 50) and that he had been assigned to the White House at one point in his career and I'd be hard-pressed to find someone nicer than him.

I asked him how tall he was.

"Tall, real tall, at least that is how I remember him, I haven't seen him in several years but he's in town tonight and I can't get away to have dinner with him."

I agreed to go.

We met at a lovely Italian restaurant. As I was walking in, I ran into a few friends who wanted to know what I was doing there and asked if I wanted to join them.

As soon as we walked into the foyer of the restaurant, this very distinguished older gentleman called my name, said I looked just like my photo, the one he saw.

My friend winked at me and said she'd call me tomorrow, she had lots of questions.

It was obvious that my date was older than 58 but I am a gracious woman so I settled in to have dinner and learn more about him as a person, a potential friend.

He began telling me about his distinguished career and kept mentioning that he was just "8 or 9 years my senior". Ahem. He told me about being assigned to the White House, what an exciting time that was and how he was there when President Johnson was sworn in! I almost choked on my linguine!

I must have looked like the deer in headlights. " I was 8 years old when he was sworn in... eight!"

He assured me again that he was just "8 or 9 years" my senior. I excused myself and went to the rest room. I called my dad.

Whispering I said, "Dad, I need you to get online and look up my date, see how old he is!"

As he was walking to his computer he asked me how old I thought he was. "Your age, maybe younger." My dad was 75.

"Ok, I found him, there's only one with that name in the area, how old did you guess him to be?"

"70"

"No, he's not 70"

"He sure looks 70, are you sure you got the right person?"

"Oh yeah, I'm sure, guess again."

"69?"

"No, you're going the wrong direction."

"ACK!!! 72?"

"No"

"73?"

"No, keep going, and not year by year either."

"What does that mean? Not year by year?"

"It means you have a lot of years, skip over some"

"OMG! How old is he?"

"Keep guessing!"

"75?"

"Keep going."

"OMG, he's OLDER than my father?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh yeah.... "

"77?"

"No."

"Holy @*$%#! Are you kidding me? This is not funny!"

"Not kidding, guess again!"

"78?"

"No.... he's 80!"

"OMG 80! 80! 80! Thirty years older than me!"

"Yes, and it's a good thing you had your date tonight, in two days he will be 81."

I felt weak in the knees......... I hung up as I heard him laughing, telling me to have a good time.

I returned to the table, drank a large glass of wine..........as my date was telling me of things we could do together.

I had to stop him and tell him that we were just not a match, that whole thing about me being 8 when Johnson was sworn in... well, the math did not add up. He patted my hand telling me that age is just a number and did I realize that I had gorgeous green eyes?

I picked up my purse and said I really needed to leave, had a nice conversation, good food and wine but I was sure we were not a match.

He held my coat for me to slip it on........telling me how much he liked my perfume........still flirting with me and asked if we could go somewhere for coffee.

"No thank you, I appreciate it but no."

As he walked me to my car he said he felt a little foolish, knowing he was trying to pass himself off as under 60 when his "hair was probably too white and would be a dead give-away".

Sigh. Deep breathe, the evening is almost over. He grabbed my hand to keep me safe, walking me to my car, telling me he had a lot of free time now that he was retired and would do anything with me and wanted me to promise him we'd have dinner again.

"I can't" I told him gently, not wanting to hurt him.

He hugged me and said he didn't think I was the type of woman who would date a married man like him but he thought it was worth a shot!

Married! I about fell over.........pushing 81 and still a player!

A good friend of mine, about my age, still tells me....when he grows up he wants to be The General........to have that confidence at 80 that he thinks he can still have dinner with a woman considerably younger and possibly a fling!